Repeat after me : I do not have to apologize for my feelings.

So many of us feel like we’re supposed to be happy all the time- especially if we’re around other people. Here’s your end of the week reminder that you’re not supposed to be happy all the time- when you’re by yourself or with others.

I work with a lot of perfectionism in my clinical practice (and have experienced it myself). Here are some of my thoughts on it…

Recently I’ve watched a few public figures make public mistakes. I keep finding myself thinking about how people responded to it. Reading hateful/shaming comment after comment left me wondering why people felt like this was okay.

Anxiety feeds off of avoidance. When we push things off, we might feel short term relief, but in the long run our feelings of anxiety only increase.

As humans we are so prone to projections- judgments and assumptions about someone else’s behavior. However, our projections come from our minds, history and wiring- and often completely miss the mark about what is actually happening with the other.

The beliefs we have about ourselves carry a lot of history.

They often stem from messages we were given about ourselves when we were very young. Because we were so young, we took these messages as truths and they can become lifelong friends (or enemies).

Our boundaries are where we find ourselves.

We need them to help teach the world who we are and how we want to be treated. They make our relationships stronger. They help us learn to lean on and trust ourselves.

Productivity comes from finding a balance between ‘doing’ and ‘being’: Actively pursuing our goals, and allowing ourselves to rest along the way.

Self-compassion forms a foundation for a richly fulfilling life. Perfectionism is an illusion- we think this is the key to productivity and being in control, when in reality it often leads to burnout.

When life gives you lemons...hold the lemons. Smell them. (Wear them? 😜). Look at their color and feel their texture. You can choose to make lemonade if you want to- but not before spending some quality time with with those lemons (knowing they won’t be here forever).

There’s a direct connection between what we think and what we feel. We have so many thoughts (billions!) every moment. Most of these thoughts are unconscious- but it’s amazing how many of the conscious ones we pay little to no attention to.

Deep breathing is different than mindful, attention-based breathing. It’s intentionally taking full, slow, and deep breaths. It’s amazing the calming and grounding effects that breathing this way can have on our bodies and minds.

Happiness has been on my mind a lot lately. We use this word so much- I think in many different capacities. What is true happiness? And is it something we can access independent of what is unfolding in our lives?

Social anxiety is a common form of anxiety- it revolves around thoughts that other people are judging/scrutinizing us or we will do something humiliating/embarrassing in front of others.

Not owning what is amazing about you can look like not accepting compliments, downplaying your hard work, not talking about the feeling of PRIDE you get in doing something hard.

We can find so much personal power in what we allow to enter the innermost corners of our life. Who we spend time with. The content we consume. What we listen to...

Of just letting our feelings be. It’s an insurmountable force. It changes how we live. It allows us to be okay with “meh” or sadness or anything else and takes away the expectation of needing to feel happy all the time- or anything other than what we’re currently feeling. It’s gentle and kind. Its wise.

We grow through what we go through. It’s how we’re wired. We just don’t always see it when we’re actually going through it, which makes the journey harder and more exhausting.