Don't Let People-Pleasing Control Your Life: Tips for Standing Up for Yourself
Do you find yourself constantly accommodating others at the expense of your own needs?
Do you feel like you can't say no, or that you're not good enough unless other people approve of you?
If so, then you may be struggling with people-pleasing.
People pleasing is a pattern of behavior in which someone acts and speaks in a way that pleases others, at the expense of their own well-being.
People-pleasing usually comes from a place of insecurity and a desire to be valued and accepted. It often has its roots in our childhoods, and messages we received about our worth early on.
The following fears often cause people-pleasing behavior:
Rejection and Abandonment
Conflict and Anger
Criticism and Being Disliked
Losing Control or Not Being Needed
If people-pleasing is something you struggle with, know that you're not alone. It's a very common issue. But it's also one that you can overcome with time and effort.
Here are some tips for breaking free from the people-pleasing cycle:
Identify your people-pleasing behavior - when have you said yes to someone when you would rather have said no? Is this a pattern you've noticed when interacting with this person? Why do you think this might be?
Establish boundaries for your time and energy
Start small, for example, say no to a text request if you find it hard to say no in-person
Set goals and priorities so you know what matters most to you
Don't say "yes" right away, give yourself time to decide. "Let me think about that" works wonders
Help when you want to help, not out of fear or guilt
Avoid making excuses - be direct and say no
I've created a free download with more tips to help you stop people-pleasing. You can get it here.
By implementing these boundaries, you'll start to feel better about yourself and those around you will begin to respect your time and energy!
Do you have any other tips for stopping people-pleasing? Share them in the comments below!
