In the long run....What choice will ultimately make my nervous system teel calmer, more regulated? Sometimes, the next best choice DOES elevate our nervous system immediately (think: facing a fear), BUT the hope is that in the long run you’ll
Pay attention to if you have some double standards in your relationship (lots of us do, and don’t see them for what they are). If you have moments where you’re off or grumpy- so can they. If you make certain requests of your partner, th
We all need to be acknowledged at times. It’s a need rooted in our very survival. Being acknowledged meant you were seen, part of a community, and connected to other people. It’s not bad to want acknowledgment, but when we have history
One of the most important distinctions in repairing misses in our relationships is differentiating between INTENTION and IMPACT. They land very differently for the receiver. Intention is explaining your experience, impact is validating theirs. The
When we find ourselves getting too worked up about others not doing the right thing- in small ways - that’s often a clue that a young you is involved. When you grew up without order, you put an extra strong emphasis on order and rules as an ad
A sign of secure attachment is being able to stay connected, even when there’s contlict. When you can hold both “I’m hurt” AND “I’m still here”, you’re showing yourself and the other person that love d
What dual realities sounds like in harder conversations: “This is what I remember”, not, “when you.” “I heard”, not, “you said”. If you’ve tried communicating this way before, or been on the r
Drop a 💗 if you needed this reminder, send it someone who can use it today. Sending you 💗 Leah
We can easily find ourselves caught up in how other people view us- especially if it feels unfair and unflattering. Spending too much time wondering WHY they think this or being overly invested in trying to “fix” the narrative is a clue
The his mindset shift might be counterintuitive but it’s so helpful. As an example: If you have the urge to study or write outside- don’t make yourself stay inside to write before you can go outside. Ask yourself: how’s my body f
Raise your hand if you’ve participated in a text conversation that escalated because 1. It’s easy to misread tone 2. People say things they wouldn’t ordinarily say out loud in text 3. You’re missing context? 🙋🏻‍♀️ Texti
For anyone who can use this reminder today: Self-compassion and kindness ARE necessary ingredients in getting yourself to show up and make change AND stay with it. Having unfair/too high/unrealistic expectations of yourself are going to make you ha
When we bring it up with INTENTION to repair (not, “I’m holding this over you!”), with SKILL (finding a good time to talk, communicate well), and with COMPASSION, we can learn to finally move through old hurt. This is a key reframe